People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
