Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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