I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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