When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
