put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It all started with a game of naked twister.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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