p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
