Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
