Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
