Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
