I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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