she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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