Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
