Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
