She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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