Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
