So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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