Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
