I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
