im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
