So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
