How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
