Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize