I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
