I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
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he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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