Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
