pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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