But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Randomize
