I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize