no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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