You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
