She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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