Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
