no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
