I love black thongs
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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