you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
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