saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize