Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
