If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
