you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
