Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
