Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
