He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
