Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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