I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
