Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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