Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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