New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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