why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
now i know why i became what i already was.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
this will be a night to untag.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
