If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
