I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Do vagina's smell?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
