school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
