you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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