He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
