Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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