It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
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He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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