She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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