I'm really into asian looking animals
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
