dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
