So drunk its hurt
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
