Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
