I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm always down for nudity.
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