Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
