Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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